At 8th Months
After long thinking, we both finally DECIDED, it gonna be c-sact.
Memang letih menjawab - "Kenapa C-sact?, Tak Normal!"
Eh, aku yang nak bersalin, ikut akulah kan - ow i wished i could i answer them these.
People out there, Yes- i was given a CHOICE by my gyne!
And we choose C-sact simply because throught out my pregnancy, i had pain at my old scar.
So, boleh ke aku meneran? The fact also that i am super dooper penakut and lemah semangat!
Maka si doktor pun setuju juga agar saya beranak cara c-sact. Dah! Puas???!!!
(Do u know that if u choose to deliver via normal, and due to some complication, u'll end up with c-sact,
that the hospital will charged you both bill!)
So, why take all the hassle kan??
OK, the story begin ....
We 'checked' in at Pantai Medical Bangsar at 6.30pm!
Sebelum tu dah mintak maaf mama, abah and umi!
And eat all i want to eat before - confinement!
This includes - My Caramel Frapucino with java chip. (sedapnyer..)
We spend our time by watching AJL
(Hurm, kalau anak ini pandai menyanyi... tahulah kenapa..)
At 12mid night, i was asked to start fasting.
Masa tu jantung mula berdegup dengan laju.
Time tu timbullah, ...
Bagaimana kalau tuhan tidak buka mata ini selepas pembedahan?
Bagaimana agaknya jika tuhan duga bayi ini hanya dipinjamkan kepadaku selama 9 bulan?
Bagaimana agaknya rupa anak ku? sempurnakah dia ?
Yerlah, aku ini manusia biasa. tidak lari dari membuat silap
Dan masih banyak suruhan-Nya yang aku abaikan ..
However Arjuna knew his wife
He made me smile and laugh all night long
We took pictures together! We shared the same bed so he could hug me all night long to calm me
i heart you, my arjuna
Nurse woke me up at 6.00am and asked me to prepared myself.
After i did the subuh pryers, i did my last solat hajat
"Tuhan kau tabahkan hati aku melalui saat ini" - Itu saja aku pinta ketika itu!
As Arjuna accompanied me to the OT, i was crying..
Sambil tanpa berhenti didalam hati membaca fatiha, kursi and 3 kul.
As he left me, all i did was "Closed my Eyes"
Even masa bius dimasukkan, aku terus tutup mata
Dan berdoa agar tuhan membuka mata ini semula untuk melihat zuriatku, Insya Allah
Last thing i did was, i hold my tummy before they started the 'miracle' operation
Aku dikejutkan dari tidur yang paling lama dalam hidup
Hiw much i wished to ask what really happened
I shouted many times, but wondering why they were all ignoring
Then i realised its all just in my heart.. the medicine so strong that i was half awake although after it ends
As my bed were pushed to my room, i was still wondering,.. (mana anak aku?)
Then in the room, i saw Arjuna welcome me.
There were no smile nor tears..
But i knew i cried when i saw him...
Then suddenly he saw my lips...
He knew i wanted to say something
He approched me, giving a kiss at my forehead and said, thank you!
He showed me a picture, how she looks..
Pada masa itu, aku hanya bersyukur, alhamdulillah
Again Arjuna read my lips asking where is my baby,
In a minute, the midwife entered in the room with a small baby in a blanket
I saw her..and she was in my arms.
She is the most beautiful thing i ever see...
My body started to react normal over the bius,
I could see her sleeps calmly in her baby cart
How i wished to touched her but i was too weak
But i thank god, i was blessed!
I enjoyed Motherhood that how i wished, i could always watching you though in my sleeps