Blog fififlafla

My baby girl is 2 today...

2012-01-11T08:12:00.000-08:00

Time flies, and today she is 2!

I never stop thank you Allah for his blessing

and his most precious gift ever...

Happy Birthday my life, my precious

Omera Iman!

Mode: 11January song by GIGI

2011, Its sad leaving you... But i am all ready 2012

2011-12-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

I love my 2011.
When i set the theme - C.H.A.N.G.E early this year,
Ive relook and reviewed it in nearly all angle of my life (and career an business too)
I hope to become a better mom ; on which along the way i've spend more quality time with O.
I hope to become a greater wifey ; on which along the way i've cook & do households better.
And everything else which are secondary, alhamdulillah have change and improved!
So i love my 2011.

As 2012 is nearly approaching,
I am more ready and excited. (Bring it on!)
Still in search for the right theme, but is considering ;
-Living fabulous- being fabulous in EVERYTHING i committed
to become better muslim, wifey, mommy, friend and my fav- the dreamer life.

mya is fififlafla @ dreamer

My h.o.l.i.d.a.y b.r.e.a.k after tiring 2011

2011-12-17T08:37:00.000-08:00

I just came back from a one week great holiday with my entire family.

I cherished every second simply because i think i earned it

2011 never been easy to me!

Desperate to be super mom and great wife are my top priority

Shifted career, expanding my true passion and most importantly

Being better 'khalifah' and wishing for tip top health

are always in my doa.

So with that, i earned a long break with my family

However, i am very excited for 2012

Will share my expectation and thoughts for 2012

Till now, December = Holiday Mood.

p/s : Hope to enjoy that another short trip by end year!

Ive been busy with this...

2011-12-06T06:20:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah,
We have been busy with the recent baby of mine,
www.stylebymyaanddyana.com

Do come visit our website, and like our Fan Page; Style by Mya&Dyana

Check out some of our LOOKBOOK for Weekend Look Collections 2011

Dreaming Mode

2011-10-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

Sorry for 'leaving' this blog out from the total listing.
The fact i was super busy on my final month of working,
Business and Leisure also been hectic.

So being in 'long holiday mood', im trying my very best realizing the dream
Do wish us luck!

Realizing our dream on "S"

2011-07-05T06:16:00.000-07:00

Myself & dyana are working on our long planned named as "Project S".
It have been in our milestone dream for so long,
But lately we have that bigger courage to take this risk.
Are we gonna be successful, (Yes we hope)
But we knew managing its never been easy.
Especially when you need jugle time being wifey, momsy, Mya&Dyana creations and now...
But nonetheles, we never been too excited on this!

Wish me luck! I really need this ....

p/s: sorry if u cant get any updates on me here. I will be somewhere else on our own wonderland. Yes, you know where to find me right!

Panic Mom

2011-06-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

I was never this panic before.
Cant focus in my work nor knowing how the hell i drove from Subang to Gurney in just 25mins on 5.20pm. (After i heard the schocking news)
One best word could describe == PANIC

Yes, when Ajuna told that her body temperature was 39.6c, my heart beats faster & i cant think straight.
She must really need her mom now...
We monitor her temp closely & doing all our moms asked us to do..
Seriously... we never being this panic before. But i guess, every parents will go throgh this moment.
Alhamdulillah, as at today, although her body stil at 38.2c but she is improving.
I only had 2 hours of sleep and this bodyache im having....
I accepted it willingly as long as my baby o back being cheeky & hyper as usual.
Hope for your pry as well.

Insya Allah

This sleeping position only when she is unwell.

Dreams

2011-05-21T07:52:00.000-07:00

Healthy

2011-05-14T12:34:00.000-07:00

It have been 3 weeks... & most importantly - REGULAR

Asthma attack is something i hate most.

It force me to lie down & doing nothing.

And also suffering will be O. (She knew i wont be able to spoilt her as usual)

So i have decided, (now for serious) i must live in healthy style.

For my self, family and most importantly for her.

Hence i started by getting the family MULTIVITAMIN. (O loves her CHAMP pineapple flavor)

Im still doing reading on best & affordable supplements

So to all my friends out there, live your life in balance

It is aint worth it especially if you thought career is (was) the most important!

I love Me!

thoughts

2011-04-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

Source

Enjoying my best job EVER

2011-04-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

I wouldnt trade this job for anything else in this world

Although im new but this is my best job ever!

I love motherhood!

{Pic were from Bird park album. Yes! She loves bird}

2 things I NEVER Buy

2011-04-02T21:48:00.000-07:00

I have realised that i never buy these 2 items i love...
Watches and Purfumes.

Watches were mostly a gift from my dad. He knew type, brand and colour i prefer most..
But ever since married, Arjuna have been the replacement lah. (hehhe)
However nowadays, i prefer to use his watches instead coz i like men watches.
It looks more macho from my 'tiny fingers' and on hand with scar.

I have realised i have more than 30 bottles. But actually.. i only use some of my fav.
Yes... those with 'floral accents' attract me most.
That is why i have more that 3 bottles of PLEASURE and my MIRACLE.
All are a gifts by friends and family.
But the my latest birthday gift will be my new smell.
It have the scents of green mango, lotus FLOWERS and sycamore wood.

I loike...

Daddy & O!

2011-03-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

O have been spending more time with her daddy. It is more painful as she clearly called him "ayyyeeekkkk , adddaaaaaa". To her granny as "neyyyynek". As for her mom... she just make some anoying sound of "huuuh".... (SAD). Hey... but she has to understand too that her mom works daily till night and sometime even on weekends. (this is me lah!!! workholic according to someone's term). So now im trying to adjust my very level best to spend more quality time with my precious...

Strength & Power to get through this

2011-03-11T18:30:00.000-08:00

As i got the news via twitter,

My heart has broken for you JAPAN.

Many has lost their family an friends and not to mention leaving them homeless.

It is truely Allah the-Al Mighty we must turn and seek forgiveness.

May them rise again stronger and better.

As for us here, we could just pray for you

And put a reminder to ourself, that Allah

From where we belong, and to him shall we return

So are we prepared to face him...??? (Deepest thoughts)

Source : Images Here

Short and Simple Coffee Talk

2011-03-02T06:22:00.000-08:00

So we have planned the meet-up many times.
It hardly come true since each of us have our own agenda.
Furthermore, our geographical map never in same poscode. (Yes people.. i don't see our March meet up at Hard Rock Penang is coming as well!)

But im glad at least our mini coffee talk really happening!
Although it was a short.. but i miss my fav people. It will be more complete if we could have suri, wati and na on board!
I must said, you guys are amongst my true friendship! Who thought our different courses/blocks/house will turned up just fine till now!

Motherhood in 1 great year!

2011-02-19T08:59:00.000-08:00

O turned 1 recently.
It means, it have been a great 1 year of my motherhood journey.
I must admit that it was not that easy. Jugling between work, wifey and 'mommy-monster' (that have been my nick by my Arjuna) have been my greatest challenge. I knew i am not perfect... but i want to do the best for my family!
Therefore, i do not want to complaint even a bit!
To sumarize it, Motherhood is my greatest moment of life.
Thank you allah...

It is just another number

2011-02-03T10:00:00.000-08:00

3rd February.. it is another year.

I must thank ALLAH for allowing me to be here with my family & friends

Seeing my baby girl grow and giving me chances to find my destiny

Alhamdulillah. Terima Kasih Ya Allah.

So far in 2011, nothing big improvement to shout and to be proud off.

The fact that i had a lil minor issues on health, everything else surrounding me seems in good health.

I have listed my 2011 wishes in my small pink diary.

I hope Allah will one day will make it come true.

Insya Allah

As at now, i am blessed that being showered with love.

Love from my Arjuna & Omera..

Love from my family & friends.

Nothing much greater than that!

Thank you Allah.

wardrobe makeover vs fashion makeover

2011-01-20T06:19:00.000-08:00

For the past 3 months, ive been making wardrobe make over. I have let go many of my 'young & hippies' cloths to few of my younger cousins. Yes! seeing it being grab like the pirahna somehow make me sad as i most bought it with my own salary. However this is necessary as it have been there in the closet for past 2 years! -- UNTOUCHED --

I love wearing simple clothing nowadays. Pair of my blue jeans with loose top and some accessories already satisfied me!

Then i have realised, i am undergoing a 'fashion makeover'! (hubby said lebih muslimah).. hehe.. I guess bye-bye to those A-Line skirts too!

O's Tutu & Lollipop Party

2011-01-16T05:56:00.000-08:00

The Party !

O with Mommy!

The 2 tiers Red Velvet Cake!

The birthday Girl!

The super delicious lamb sausages, marinated chicken & potatoes!

Party Pack!

The Lollipop & Candy Buffet !

The venue - Nenek's Place in Mutiara Damansara

O is 1 on 11.01.11.

2011-01-09T05:47:00.000-08:00

Babyfat!

2011-01-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

Yes. i still have 5kg of my baby fat! (Proudly declared)
And believed me, this leftovers are the most stuborn!
But knowing my own body that higly fragile especially to certain part of my body,
I decided just to start with some minor moves.
Yes, i missed running. The best record so far was just a jog!
Wooshing it 2 rounds were aint even at my par back when i used to run..
However it all have changed. Clearly that this body of mine is no longer fit for all this.
Plan LADY! I must determined with my goals.
You need to keep yourself healthy --> Self reminder!

Plans

2011-01-03T00:52:00.000-08:00

2011 is a new beginning for me. Yes i do have some big plans ahead, but i also promised myself to make life balance.
"Life happens when you're making plans. No right time is ever going to be perfect. So if i'm going to do something, might as well just get started".
I decided to be more open in this blog. No more dramas as ive moved on. Iam happy & proud mother.

I [LOVE] me !

Journey to 2011

2010-12-26T06:23:00.000-08:00

We still left with few more days to 2011. However somehow i am pretty excited but anxious about 2011. May be because some of my dreams will be REAL in 2011.(will it be? Insya Allah). I would love to share it with you but let’s wait at least i have better clue or hope. All i know, it gonna be an interesting journey to me & my Arjuna and my precious - Baby O.

Ya Allah,
Kau permudahkan jalan yang aku pilih.
Kau berikan aku petunjuk dalam setiap keputusan
dan Kau berkatilah diriku, keluargaku, temanku dan semua umat islam yang lain.
Jadikan lah kami kehidupan yang mendatang kami adalah lebih baik dari sekarang.
Insya Allah.

2011's wish (in advance)

2010-11-28T06:11:00.000-08:00

It was too tensed.. work and work and work

So we decided to get super short 1 day escaped from the hassle of kl city.

I admitted it was too short that i did not enjoyed the whole trip

But at least, for that 48hours it was rather worth it.

So im declaring in advance.. my 2011 resolution;

Healthy & Balance Life

still

2010-11-24T04:53:00.000-08:00

I'am still can't get over from the previous post's grief.
...
Luckily ive printed a few of my favourite moments & used that lovely frame.
...
p/s: did u 'see' her ? she is now on walker...

:(

2010-11-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

If u havent heard,
My Arjuna lost his BB (My 2010 birthday gift) & his laptop.
Somehow i felt the 'misery' badly i've a full time user of his Light Slim Acer.
But mostly, we have saved more than 6,000 pictures snapped on Baby O.
YES! we took her photos every week & for 'the lil nest' project, we have intended to have O's wall of fame.

As i personally feel, it was a great lost (Referring to all pictures & his work), Somehow im hoping for a miracle. Perhaps the thief realised he had stolen an innocent person's belongings.
Do u think it will happen?

Huh, i regret on my act of not updating the back ups.
So my dearly friends, im now in contact with most my friends & siblings who quicidencly might have my precious moments.. (Insya Allah & Pleaseeeeee)

Pls email at fififlafla@yahoo.com

New Family Member

2010-10-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

The Hamzah's clan just welcome a new family. It is my only SIL.
Personally she is super sweet, pretty & kind hearted too! (I trust my bro on his pick) For Ida, welcome to this crazeee family!

'diva baby'

2010-10-07T05:43:00.000-07:00

I so much desperate want to be a stay home mom..
As everyday i woke up, She is actually grew up so fast..
New tricks everyday with that chubby lil smile,
I felt guilty that i missed all that..
(sob-sob)

And for now, she has becoming very 'diva' baby that wants everything! or else, i'll CRY mommy!

i heart this ... (can someone please replaced mine)

2010-10-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

Journey of my friendships

2010-09-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

Im blessed that have many good friends around.
As we are who we are and believed on 'friends forever'.

Since school (My fav 5,errr may be 4 now),
We are best buddies! Many moments involved and i never regret to love & hate them.
We are like a big family now. Saya sayang kamu!!

To my Uni Golden Moments (Im involved in 2 clan, the 'famous 6' and 'the SHA geng')
Part 1; To my Famous 6,
Because of you, i had great moment in Uni moments
We might not in same courses/ blocks/ roomies
But we surely connected everywhere and anywhere
It is sad that all of us are far away
But we knew, we love each other very much. (Super muchhhhhhhhhhhh)
Love from Sg.petani to Kluang.

Part 2; To my SHA geng (4 of us),
As i learnt about TRUE Life from all of you
that u made me a different people with wiser & diverse views
Iam not as strong as now without you

To my Master Peeps,
Although the journey was short, but we have gained more than 'just' a friendship
We've been envy & hatred by many (well baby, it is not our fault that we have personality, looks and must i say-the brain)
M, A, M, A.

And to my beloved colleagues,
we might have different character, life, principles and personality,
but we knew deep inside, we always have each other.
with 4 different stories!

And lastly to him,
the 14 years old of friendship that full of fairy-tale, laughter and drama
always last forever!

I love all of you!

(Photo Ramadhan1413. -the 4 stories)

Raya dengan kesyukuran

2010-09-14T05:31:00.001-07:00

Di pagi syawal,
Aku bersyukur masih menyambutnya bersama Mama & Abah..
Aku bersyukur dilimpahi kasih oleh Si Arjuna..
Aku bersyukur kerana kami masih hidup seadanya..
Aku bersyukur, Aku bersyukur
Aku paling bersyukur kerana aku ada dia..

Maka raya tahun ini disambut sungguh sederhana,
tetapi penuh kesyukuran

Alhamdulillah

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
Maaf Zahir Batin
Dariku, Arjuna & Omera..

Mya&fififlafla will be on SUPER BUSY mode

2010-08-28T06:44:00.000-07:00

We are moving towards last quarter of the year..
And i am foreseeing i will be super dooper busy,
With my work & my stuff!
Arhh.. Im learning now to prioritize,
Being a MOTHER definitely my top of the list!
So, if u have been PM, SMS or BUZZing me, And i did not reply, pardon me...
Will try to get in touch with you back soon!

p/s: Also busy to get back in shape! Another month to go and i desperately need to be back in my 50's group!

Photo from 2008 fififlafla diary

Cant get this out of my head - The Scientist

2010-08-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

Come up to meet you, Tell you I’m sorry, You don’t know how lovely you are I had to find you, Tell you I need you, Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, And ask me your questions, Aww let’s go back to the start
Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like] Comin’ our tails, Heads on the science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Aww take me back to the start
I was just guessin’, At numbers and figures, Pullin’ the puzzles apart
Questions of science, Science and progress, Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, Come back to haunt me, Oh when I rush to the start
Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like] Chasin’ our tails, Comin’ back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Aww It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m goin’ back to the start

Though you are not around anymore, i still listen to your music..

Searching for a design

2010-08-20T06:21:00.000-07:00

I am looking for something simple! (It sounds so me right - SIMPLICITY)
a plain design for my aidilfitri. nothing fancy and nothing loud. (see how much i have tone down ever since being a mother)
What most important is to get my yummy apple ready for her very first raya!
And to add its already happiness, i'll be celebrating it in KL (AGAIN) huhu...
So i found this while googling in Rizalman's Blog.

How i love this but unfortunately, this body of mine (yg gemuk) wont look as nice as per potrayed!

Craving for Sweetness

2010-08-16T06:48:00.000-07:00

After birth, my craving for sweetness never stop. Anything caramel, sugar, icing and cheesy will be my first choice. In other way, "lets just skip the meal and goes direct to dessert". And as expected, the weight melonjak dengan gembiranya entering -6- families. Arg! I am one FAT lady with an innerbody age of 44 (knew this when i did fat analysis couple of weeks ago). But i am also a happy & proud mother (AND FAT).
OK,ok. For benefit of my own health, i will control my sugar intake. (REMEMBER, i mentioned control and NOT stop! hehhe)
For a start, only ONE Taufu Fa in every 2 weeks. (When i was preggo, i must get this everyday!-- But i was not being diagnosed with diabetic ok!)

Oh i loike this..

2010-07-31T07:18:00.000-07:00

Check out what my yummy apple's idol carrying..
(Actually my idol. heheh)
That bag is so cute!!!
Where can i get this??

No more excuses - The journey begins

2010-07-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

I am among those new momsy that highly paranoid over taking any sort of pill/s herbs into my body.
The most ultimate reason for this WAS - I am breastfeeding!
This followed by the "unfortunate strory of me" - Yes people, my c-sact wasnt that successfull that i had to face 'bleeding session' till my yummy apple already 4 months. Sad but real story.

So now people, no more excuses.
I have promised myself till she is at least 6 months for me to start thinking about myself.
God has created such story that Omera also stop bf till she was 5th months.
This challenges that ALLAH swt decided, create great challenges for me as i was determine to at least bf her till she is 1year. But i believed ALLAH swt has better plan for me.

With this, i declare that the journey begins...

Motherhood in Me

2010-07-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

It have been 5 months my Omera colour my life. She completes us. She makes us seeing things differently as we no longer only talk about ourself.
However i was a bit sad to face the fact that she has been refused to BF. Unsure for what reason. To someone that look forward for at least 1 year, this definitely crushed any mother's heart. But i guess ini ketentuah tuhan, God has planned the best for us.

At my 6th months, i can now already start planning my mode of getting into my normal shape!

Pagi yang Indah

2010-06-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

Mostly, weekend are the only time i cook (kind of..)

Making breakfast for my Arjuna Insya Allah will be my ultimate gold!

Normally i made pancakes, cekodok, nasi goreng, bee hoon goreng and once, nasi lemak!

(Put aside roti bakar caused i did that for him during weekdays)

But no matter what the menu, breakfast is FUN!

This week, only two of us (My yummy apple around but taking her morning nap)

W talk and we gossip in many stuff

Planning and dreaming always amongst our favourite topic.

But as long we are together,

Its always pagi yang indah! (Can i do this everyday? = everyday is weekend)

Instant Murtabak Raja from KB. Damn delicious ! with Chocolate Milk

Sugar raisin bread from the LOAF. Nyummy
with glass of Orange Juice!

Includes 'My yummy apple drink'

Still in same mode but ....

2010-06-23T07:24:00.000-07:00

Kind of extanded feeling,
But im way more accepting what ever feeling i felt past weeks.
Getting this White Cake Stand aint changing the feelings,

But somehow i love it!!

p/s: may be NOW /FINALY that mini little cute oven of mine will work 'actively'.. Hurm, will see!

JKB

2010-06-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

I borrowed this term - JKB (Jiwa Kacau Bilau) from my girlfriend.
Unstable emosional described me best!

I want to do so much thing yet i have little time and limited resources
How i wish dream is an easy peasy.
Hurm... may be i need to meditate or at least indulge myself
Shopping will be the perfect but i then realised have been invested to many wrong thing lately.

That C&K shoe, red crocs, 2pieces of white top and others!

As at now, im so loving the cupcake stand!
(See how mess up my mind is... i don't bake yet want to have that beautiful white stand!)

Picture : From here!

What do you want in life?

2010-05-22T08:53:00.000-07:00

Do you live in a world that u were unsure what to do?
Like the confused 'meredith grey', and 'oh ok' character of Phoebe?
(silence)

I thought it took me 30 years to think who will i become..
And what do i want to do in life..
But the fact, it always been inside my heart
No matter how i twist the storyline and determine who will be happy in the end of the chapter..
Oh i want it badly...
To be living in a world where 'PROBLEM' does not exist!
But, life woudn't be that exciting i guess ...

NOW, i want so much to spend my life with Arjuna & precious Omera
As i feel complete with people i love and being LOVED..
Will that happend? How soon can it be .... ?

Omera, Chillis and Patchi

2010-05-09T08:07:00.000-07:00

This year will be the first year my little family & i celebrated Mothers Day!
Yup, caused im a happy MOTHER like any others MOTHER out there.
I must said that my bonding with MAMA has become more stronger
As i knew how much MOTHER's Love it is..

We decided to celebrate it simple yet memorable.
So we head to both Arjuna & myself favourite restaurant-Chilis.
Then we got ourselve MY favourite choc-PATCHI.
To every mother out there,
Happy Mothers Day!
Specially to mama. Hope u really have fun there in PERTH
and we will be waiting for your returns!

Long awaited Stuff in my Wish List

2010-05-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

I believed everyone have their own wish list.
Stuff in my wishlist nothing over the board of what i could afford eg a porche nor big bungalow house.
Hoever all stuff so far ive work my *** to get it on my own.
(Or at least as a gift by my Arjuna).

Latest is my long awaited stuff in my wish list is the DSLR.
Been wanting this since 3 years ago but could not afford this back then.
Now the fact i have a fulltime baby model in hand and some good offerings,
The Nikon finnaly is mine! (heheheh).. Bye-Bye my SONY.

Sekarang ambik gambar gembira-gembira!!
Next in wishlist ... xxxxxxxxxx

My Precios ...

2010-05-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

De-Stress Story

2010-04-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

April was indeed a busy month.
Either with work or my another life.

Babu O had many event attended. So does her monthly jap.
While my BM supply had gone incredibily low!!
I still must go through life as calm as i could be (ayat de-stress sendiri)

Her biggest event was attending pak chu's engagement.
It was lucky that she behaved so well that as usual... Baby's O as 'toy' of the day!
She could be in many photo taken as she was happyly sleeping at the corner of the hall
Yes, best spot indeed betul-betul depan kipas.

Hurm..
Another exciting story is -- Baby O has turned to 3 months on 11th April 2010!
All she wants now is giggling & smilling...
So happy !

--FUND--

2010-04-02T19:27:00.000-07:00

What will you do if u have that 'fund'?
Will you built your dream? Or Will you make things happen for someone u love?
Or will you actually create another wonderland in this oh so not happy world

I am a girl with lack of 'fund' to catch that dream..
But only god knows how i desperate to find 'fund' in so much fun...
Arhhh .. will my (and her) time will come soon ....

That small dream still look petite ......

Story of HER

2010-03-20T21:26:00.000-07:00

I already started my work. Alhamdulillah that everything was easy.
Everyone seems understanding of the new role im carrying-new mumsy!
But how i felt every hour away from her will be the same with others
They have prewarned me on this situation...
And seriously i thought i was way stronger
However, true enough that NALURI SEORANG IBU will always be the same (Cheewah!!)
Everything i do, always remind me on her..
So i need to check with my mom on how is she doing every 2 hours!
Sign.... how i wish i could always be by her side always!

I thank god that i Arjuna is so a reliable hubby.
If he knew im a bit 'hard' to wake every night to change her dypers, he would do!
Alhamdulillah....

However my greatest worries when after Arjuna sent me to work (Yes, the contract being extanded)
He will then sent her to the granny!
I must said it is not a short journey...
So what if she still need milk? or unconfortable along the way?
Will Arjuna calmly will handle her?
What is Arjuna the one feel sleepy?
He could not stop by road side/petrol station to get nap (Yes! He did sometimes)
Argh... All this worries me....
"Ya allah... permidahkanlah perjalanan anakku bersama suamiku setiap hari"

will i be ready?

2010-03-07T05:57:00.000-08:00

It only left a week that i will be starting my work (60days maternity leave seems too short)
With this mix feeling of sad,worried and excited, will i be ready to leave her at least 9 hours of my day?
Huh... (deep inside u knew my answer but i am so much want to say I AM READY)

Leaving her with my mom is not an issue,
But having my maid assisting her worried me since i have no confidence in her! - Minah tu menggelabah & Banyak Membebel

Will the Breast Milk i'll be leaving (approximately 9 bottles of 2.5oz each) will be enough?
Will she be getting the food on time ? (If i was around, i can sense few minutes before she woke up that she wants milk!)
Will she be drinking warm milk ?

She is very spoilt as she only confortable sleeping when being cuddle (Standing) and in room of air-cond.
So by napping her downstairs (With mama & fellow maid love watching TV loud, sound of baking and those cats passing around-which belong to of my maid), will her be getting her sleep?

And last...
With my normal hactic work routine that demand me always staying back,
And my super freak attitude of lack trusting people,
Will i be ok???

Owh .. how i wishes i can be by her side always......

You are Invited ....

2010-03-05T07:55:00.000-08:00

Who ever reading this blog, u are invited to this Event!

Cerita Berpantang - My Version

2010-02-19T04:09:00.000-08:00

As i was writting this entry, i have yet to complete my 44days of confinement.
However it was already 40days! So i think deserved to story those moment!

I decided to do it at my mom's place. (Mestilah kan!. Mesti balik umah mama)
The fact that i knew that my mom is not those typical and 'taksub' with DO's and DON'T during confinement.
Her rule of thumb is simple;
Anything COLD (Ice, Local fruits), Seafood, Chicken is No-No. (love it! love it!)
However, certain things we still to follow nenek moyang kita buat...
Like berurut (I did for 3 days. 2 weeks after delivered. All body EXCEPT tummy)
Like bertangas (Already have the ubat tapi belum buat. Tunggu nanah kering)
Like taking the herbs (I have little herbs my 'bidan' prepared. semua tradiotional. tapi belum ambik coz still breasfeed. May be after i finished my confinement)

Mama prepared for me twice menu daily. FISH (a lots of them) and Green Vege.
Cara masak mestilah bakar! Yes i have no complaint over it CUMA tak pedas lansung.
For someone yang MUST have spicy food everytime she eats, this is my greatest challenge!
Memang rase macam orang sakitlah!
But i enjoyed FISH and VEGETABLES coz they are my favourite.
Yes i missed Chicken, but can get over it.
To ensure that i still have the appetite, sometimes she prepared for me Nasi Goreng Ikan Bilis, Keow Tiow Sup fishball, Keow tiow goreng olive kosong, Nasi goreng sosej daging.
Time confinement ni, all the special foos i mentioned above sangatlah sedap ok!
Kadang, i took Prosperity Burger (meat). Beshhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Talking about jalan-jalan, yes she prohibited me of going out of the house.
But i tell you that every week, there is surely one time i managed to breath fresh air!
(1st week-tak de, 2nd week-Omera flu, 3rd week-kena tunjuk nanah kat gyne,4th week-Omera Sunat, 5th week- Omera's doc appointment)
But on my 38th days, i went to 1utama. (huhu. dah mintak kebenaran ok!)
But my outing was only 1/2 an hour. No loitering around. We park the car closest to the door and i went straight to get her travel system. Thats all.
Tapi betul orang tua-tua advise tak kasi keluar rumah sebab walaupun hanya 1/2 jam, i felt very tired.
My dear friend told me all this is actualy just mindset. katanya lah...

I didnt do -berbengkung though. Reason to it very simple, because ada nanah! But i will do it once it receoved.
Berpilis- Nahhhhh.. To lazy to do it! But i did tie my hair up! and wear sweaters & socks all the time.
Breastfeeding - Yes it hurt me badly but now i can get over it. In fact amongst my fav part of confinement.
It really create the bond between me and her when she looks straight to my eyes.
I intend to breastfeed her till 1 year old (insya allah) but once i start to work, mommy need to mix with the formula milk. sorry baby...
I already get all the gadget needed for breastfeed and storage!

Now that i only left 4 days, i have lots of plan to celebrate this day. (And all about food!!!)
I will miss my confinement period. This time around it was really different that the previous two.
It is really meaningful.
For that, i thank my mama the most and followed by my Arjuna.

Seriously, i dont think my body will never goes back to normal (figure and energy, sekarang asyik penat saja). But i don't care.
I already have her and most importantly i have a family.

(my pryers goes to few of my friends who has something similar cases with me before i have her. Never give up and believe in god coz Allah already have the plan..- thats why i insisted Omera's name to be having IMAN as the meaning - believing in faith)

p/ssst : I already lost all my 19kilos baby fat! huhu (tapi still having the tummy and normal jeans can't fit already. Yes, u know which part already extanded right!)

cerita beranak - my version

2010-02-15T09:10:00.000-08:00

At 8th Months
After long thinking, we both finally DECIDED, it gonna be c-sact.
Memang letih menjawab - "Kenapa C-sact?, Tak Normal!"
Eh, aku yang nak bersalin, ikut akulah kan - ow i wished i could i answer them these.

People out there, Yes- i was given a CHOICE by my gyne!
And we choose C-sact simply because throught out my pregnancy, i had pain at my old scar.
So, boleh ke aku meneran? The fact also that i am super dooper penakut and lemah semangat!
Maka si doktor pun setuju juga agar saya beranak cara c-sact. Dah! Puas???!!!
(Do u know that if u choose to deliver via normal, and due to some complication, u'll end up with c-sact,
that the hospital will charged you both bill!)
So, why take all the hassle kan??

10.01.10
OK, the story begin ....
We 'checked' in at Pantai Medical Bangsar at 6.30pm!
Sebelum tu dah mintak maaf mama, abah and umi!
And eat all i want to eat before - confinement!
This includes - My Caramel Frapucino with java chip. (sedapnyer..)
We spend our time by watching AJL
(Hurm, kalau anak ini pandai menyanyi... tahulah kenapa..)
At 12mid night, i was asked to start fasting.
Masa tu jantung mula berdegup dengan laju.
Time tu timbullah, ...
Bagaimana kalau tuhan tidak buka mata ini selepas pembedahan?
Bagaimana agaknya jika tuhan duga bayi ini hanya dipinjamkan kepadaku selama 9 bulan?
Bagaimana agaknya rupa anak ku? sempurnakah dia ?
Yerlah, aku ini manusia biasa. tidak lari dari membuat silap
Dan masih banyak suruhan-Nya yang aku abaikan ..

However Arjuna knew his wife
He made me smile and laugh all night long
We took pictures together! We shared the same bed so he could hug me all night long to calm me
i heart you, my arjuna

11.01.10
6am
Nurse woke me up at 6.00am and asked me to prepared myself.
After i did the subuh pryers, i did my last solat hajat
"Tuhan kau tabahkan hati aku melalui saat ini" - Itu saja aku pinta ketika itu!

As Arjuna accompanied me to the OT, i was crying..
Sambil tanpa berhenti didalam hati membaca fatiha, kursi and 3 kul.
As he left me, all i did was "Closed my Eyes"
Even masa bius dimasukkan, aku terus tutup mata
Dan berdoa agar tuhan membuka mata ini semula untuk melihat zuriatku, Insya Allah
Last thing i did was, i hold my tummy before they started the 'miracle' operation

10am
Aku dikejutkan dari tidur yang paling lama dalam hidup
Hiw much i wished to ask what really happened
I shouted many times, but wondering why they were all ignoring
Then i realised its all just in my heart.. the medicine so strong that i was half awake although after it ends

As my bed were pushed to my room, i was still wondering,.. (mana anak aku?)
Then in the room, i saw Arjuna welcome me.
There were no smile nor tears..
But i knew i cried when i saw him...
Then suddenly he saw my lips...
He knew i wanted to say something
He approched me, giving a kiss at my forehead and said, thank you!
He showed me a picture, how she looks..
Pada masa itu, aku hanya bersyukur, alhamdulillah

11.30am
Again Arjuna read my lips asking where is my baby,
In a minute, the midwife entered in the room with a small baby in a blanket
I saw her..and she was in my arms.
She is the most beautiful thing i ever see...

3pm
My body started to react normal over the bius,
I could see her sleeps calmly in her baby cart
How i wished to touched her but i was too weak
But i thank god, i was blessed!

Today
I enjoyed Motherhood that how i wished, i could always watching you though in my sleeps

Hidup kalau penuh dengki !

2010-02-11T04:09:00.000-08:00

Aku tulis 'entry' ini tanpa tujuan
Tapi aku marah dengan manusia yang ada hasad dengki!

Aku lalui kehidupan ini dengan penuh bahagia walaupun tidak sempurna
Tapi aku bukan hipokrit yang menjaja kejayaan yang bukan miliknya

Aku kagum jika adanya pengorbanan
Kerana dari situ kita belajar erti sebenar cinta dan sayang

Buat temanku,
Pengorbanan yang kamu lalui sungguh besar dan bermakna!
Akan aku doakan kehidupanmu akan dirahmati Allah buat selamanya!

p/s: I do not compromise with dengki people!

Hari Jadi - Tak Meriah tapi bermakna

2010-02-05T03:51:00.000-08:00

Every year of my Birthday, there are always celebration.
Either with my Arjuna (Ini Wajiblah kan!), collegues, family and closed friends!
However this year, it is just like any other day.
I only felt it was my birthday due to the many SMS coming in and those wishes via FaceBook!
Yes! Not even a slice of cake!
Yes, the fact im still on confinement period,
I cant taste real good food, i cant go places i wanna be and i cant be overjoyed (melompat-lompat) anymore.
Sungguh Tak Meriah!

However, the fact that this year birthday is the most meaningful!
i was blessed with best gift from god-Baby Omera
and being a mother while im 30!
That is the most precious gift ever i received.

So, thank you my dear friends on all the wishes.
Thank you to him too caused he actually remembered!

Semua Orang Punya Hati dan Perasaan

2010-02-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

Ada kala apabila kita berkata-kata, kita menjadi riak
Ada kala apabila kita bercerita, kita menjadi takbur
Namun ceriteranya sama sahaja, aku ADALAH lebih Baik

Tapi aku juga bukan sempurna, pernah laluinya seperti mereka di atas
Namun ake cuba untuk menyusun tutur
Agar tiada yang terasa!

Ini adalah secebis saat aku lalui
Getirnya menjadi seorang ibu baharu (Iye, aku tahu ramai sudah laluinya bertahun lalu)
Tapi aku juga punya hati dan perasaan
Kata Ikhlas "Dapat juga anak akhirnya" , "Dah LAMA tunggu, tuhan bagi jugak"
Biarpun bermaksud baik.. tetapi kenapa asyik berkata ?
Kenapa hidup aku harus diperbualkan ?

The Journey so far ,,, (14days)

2010-01-25T21:00:00.000-08:00

It have been 14days.
Too much feelings and stories to talk
But i prefer summarize it as, ITULAH PENGORBANAN YANG HARUS DILALUI.
According to others, i should be recovering by 12days. ( I guess it didny happen that way in my version!)
Yes!- Darn u PANTAI MEDICAL (Their negligence made me suffer extra days)
All i want, is desperate to be Healthy.
Now, im under prescribtion of - Obimin, Vitamin C, Calcium, Antibiotik
My very own self-precribe, Lots of Chocolates (Arhhh,, aku peduli apa! i need some sweet into my life)
And as im blogging on bed Now, she is having flu. Causing trouble to breathe.
Felt so guilty n pity for her.

Fififlafla in a whole new world

2010-01-20T00:12:00.000-08:00

A whole new feelings..
Moment ive been waiting, prying and hopping finally arrived!
Im a mother today!

As you know, it was not an easy journey!
But i cherished every moment of it and believed that God do that for such reason.
Reason that i should be thankful i have my wonderful Arjuna next to me for every moment of my life!
Reason for me to become stronger and face this world calmly!
Reason to believed that miracle does happen. Its god's will!

She was 3.05kg when arrived safely at Pantai Medical Bangsar.
Alhamdulillah, everything seems normal.
Omera Iman now is the lil precios of My Arjuna & Me ...

I choosed Omera (Inspiring with great personality) coz i know u are much stronger that your previous 'siblings'. I believed that god have written you will be the one!
While Iman (Believing in Faith) coz no matter how much i pry, wishes and hopes.
If faith decided that you will be.. than you will be!

2010, insya allah will be a beautiful and joyous year.
I can feel it!!!

p/s: New roles come with a new Lay out! (Saja ajer) This year is my 5th year of blogging! huhu

Aku ingin berlari

2009-12-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

Seketika dulu,
Aku suka berlari ..
Berlari bukan untuk stamina
Berlari bukan untuk kurus
Tapi ketika berlari, Aku lupa masalah, Aku lupa duniawi & Aku lupa kenapa aku berlari!

Kini aku bahagia kerana aku redha segala ketentuan tuhan!
Arjuna & 'dia' pelengkap kehidupan
Tapi aku pada ketika ini sangat ingin berlari!
Mungkin seawal tanggal April! Aku mampu untuk berlari!
Dan pada waktu itu,
Aku akan terus berlari ...

Its here actually!

2009-12-18T06:51:00.000-08:00

It was a bit quite here !
This because it have been here actually!
Schwinggggggggggggg !!!

Date brought forward???

2009-12-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

Alahamdulillah...
Im already at my 33th Weeks..
So far, she just look fine...

Last meet with gyne,
She was very active!
My biggest fear "baby tak develop" has finnaly Over..
She apparently too healthy!
Perhaps effect on regular obimin, folid acid, vitamins, fish oil & An-Mum
(And zillions of prayers from us!)

So doc said, your EDD will be brought forward from
29th Jan at first to 2oth Jan and NOW, may be 9th Jan!
(Mommy does not care as long you were born healthy & safely)
p/s: Alang-Alang 09.01.2010 might as well i choose 11.01.2010.
(Simply because im so loving 11 January song!) kan? kan? kan?
(Tapi 10.01.2010 pun ok gaks!.. just nice number)

I saw her ...

2009-12-01T03:04:00.000-08:00

A song that i will sing for her..

Lyrics:
When the world is gray and bleak
Baby don't you cry
I will give you every bit of love that's in my heart
I will bake it up into a simple little pie�

Baby don't you cry
Gonna make a pie
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
Baby don't be blue
Gonna make for you
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle.
Gonna be a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with strawberry love
Baby don't you cry
Gonna make a pie
And hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

Baby here's the sun
Baby here's the sky
Baby I'm your light and I'm your shelter
Baby you are mine
I could freeze the time
Keep you in my kitchen with me forever
Gonna be a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with strawberry love
Baby don't you cry
Gonna make a pie
And hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

Gonna bake a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with butterscotch love
Gonna bake a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with banana creme love

Baby don't you cry
Gonna bake a pie
Hold you forever
Hold you forever
And hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

Baby don't you cry - by Quincy Coleman

The list will be up!

2009-10-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

Ill in my 26th weeks!
Huhu. Last month of 2nd tri-mester.
Excited mommy to be!

So my dear freinds...
The list will b up soon!
Huhu again!

p/s: Im so into banana now. everyday eat cekodok, banana royale baskin robbin is a must every week, pengat pisang pun tak pe. kenapa yek??

Orang-Orang dulu cakap ...

2009-10-13T06:32:00.000-07:00

Orang-Orang dulu cakap...
Masa pregnancy, mulut, hati, mata & telinga kena jaga-jaga .

So, i must said.. it does 'hit' me!
Ive been trying to say nothing that i do not want to regret..
Ive been trying not to watch 'these' and 'that' so i will not store it in my mind
Ive been avoiding some social gathering to avoid them will hurt me back

But why can't sometime,
People just get that pregnant lady are 'extra' sensative!
That they have to take changes in hormone & lifestyle to adapt these..
Hurm....

So *zapp* !!!
Just let it be..

My pregnancy journey

2009-10-08T06:15:00.000-07:00

Okok..
Enough explaining that i would rather keep it low..

Now let me start writting something down on this 'virtual' Little Black Book!
My pregnancy journey started as 'complicated' as previous
But we never give up and keep on prying to god that this time around,
Duhai Cinta Lara will survive...

Alhamdulillah..
And now i already 2 months being a prego working lady
That wear flat ballerina all time to work
And that non-maternity wear

And now everything else has changes.
The tummy is no longer 'shy' and hiding behind those baggy shirts.
As mommy already (insya allah) confidence to face the rest
No matter what will happen.

Shopping - was very exciting.
Eating - started to eat for 2 after raya!
Sickness - Mid-Night sickness. Started to puke after 9pm!
Skin - Alhamdulillah nothing 'freak-out' happened. May be i am very much controlling my food
Tahap ke-MALASan - Beyond standard. Especially with those backache! semua posisi duduk tak best!
Excitement - No best word to describe!
Craving - Tak de pun!!

(thinking that 'banana royale with strawberry cheesecake & choc chip flavour @ Baskin Robbins i had during lunch!)

from the two(plus 1) of us!

2009-09-21T18:40:00.000-07:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
maaf zahir batin from
me & my Arjuna

Janganlah marah

2009-09-09T05:24:00.000-07:00

lIt is not my intention to keep it as a secret..
But i would rather keep it low.
May be of past history or someone specific that i would rather she not knowing, (shhhhh)
I choose not to talk much on 'Duhai Cinta Lara'

But it never keep me stop dreaming
How this baby's nursery room look like,
Or how cute those tiny cloths will be!

To summarize, i am enjoying every moment of mylife now.
Of being super spoilt by Arjuna
And share stories with many bestie this wondeful journey (prego or non-prego friends)
Of Insya Allah, to be a mother in late January. (choosing 20.01.2010)

To whom i've hurt of not telling... (so not me kan!)
Janganlah marah.
I believed u guys understand as i got many congratulate SMS instead
Would rather angry and dissapoint messages.

I guees, those who we called - true friends!
kan?kan?kan?

The BIG - M

2009-08-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

Eversince prego,
This lady has become very super BIG Malas..
To do many things even blogging.

May be its a combo of not that well and fasting too..
Or i am just to freak Out with this H1N1 outbreak
That im too lazy even to step out from my lil crib

All i want to do is laying at my sofa
And do lots of reading.

Some say its normal as i did many cross checked.
But for me.. this is so not me.

p/s: Sometimes i am also lazy even to dream!
So janganlah marah saya jika this blog not being updated!

Presenting, Duhai Cinta Duhai Lara

2009-08-12T07:44:00.001-07:00

Hurm...
The reason of the long silence....

I was very weak..
I was very worried
I was full of excitement but scared
Phobia of what happend and struggle to stay hoping

So i decided to keep it secret
Until everything are clearer and confirms
And the believe in Dream, Magic and Hope will continues inside me

Although in beginning i felt double enjoyment
When i first saw 2 hearts and 2 magic
Who i named virtually "Duhai Cinta" AND "Duhai Lara"

But today,
I accept god's will...
To only give me ONE heart
(Twin Vanishing Syndrom)

Syukur Alhamdulillah
So now.. I am caryying 17th weeks old of
"Duhai Cinta, Duhai Lara"
(Sorry.. Mommy cant just drop one name.. )

Breathing healthy air

2009-08-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

For the rest of my life..
It never been this bad that i have to take so far
3 nebolizer in a row for 2 days and
6-7 pumps inhaler a day!
That never happend! (Of course with doc prescription!)

And the worst was...
As i went for my 4th opinion on my illness at Ampang Puteri last night...
Which the que was extra long (Ambik no. at around 8.30 and only managed to see doc at 11pm)
Which the ward were full with (more than half) sick kids and adults
Which i demanded detail check up incase (Nauzubillah) H1N1,
They woudnt care that much coz i do not have fever... (Upset..)

I was otherwise was given an injection - To Clear My Lung!
Warhh.. First experience lor!
Meaning the nebolizer which i also had yesterday night wasnt enough!
Hurm.. So my dear friends out there...
Please-Please take extra care on yourself
Especially to my many prego friends
Stay Indoor, Wear mask at high-traffic places
Ensure a bottle of mini sanitizer always in ur handbag
Take a lot of water, vitamins and curry (according to a friend)

Below is today view of my Condo at 9am
(Normally it was very clear!)

And below is my injection plaster!
(Check out my macho scar --> yes people, that thumb is NUMB!)

Lets pray together that this non-fresh air will recover soon.
We all need healthy air to breathe

Esoklah kite bercerita .....

2009-07-29T07:32:00.000-07:00

Will You Still Love Me, Tomorrow?

2009-06-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

.................................................................................................
Tonight you're mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
But will you love me tomorrow?

Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment's pleasure?
Can I believe the magic of your eyes?
Will you still love me tomorrow?

Tonight with words unspoken
You'll say that I'm the only one
But will my heart be broken
When the night meets the morning sun?

I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now and I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?
I need to knowWill you still love me tomorrow?
...........................................................................................................
Fav song of mine by Amy Winehouse

Tomorrow, ill meet the doctor and everything..
will be determined , tomorrow

...

No Mood

2009-06-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

With my recent health condition
I feel myself of no mood to do most things i love
I have no mood to eat
I have no mood to blog
I have no mood to even meet people
and sometimes.. even talking

No mood to shop,
No mood to look pretty
No mood doing cooking

I hope 'these' will go away soon ...

Saya takut pada ...

2009-06-01T03:53:00.000-07:00

Do u ever leave in fear??
Or .. what is your fear factor..??

Mostly people scared of death..
A lot of people scared of ghost! (I know im in top 10!)
My friend scared of clowns! (Silly!)
and mostly my lil cousin just do not scared at all!
(those momok doesnt work anymore!)

I am now leaving in my highest fear!
Waking up every morning and unsure... what will happen to me TODAY!
Yes, not tomorrow nor several upcoming months
I guess.. must be the phobia...
As at now.. i just want to tell you...
That i am scared ....

I already forgiven you.. BUT i will never forget !

2009-05-25T06:06:00.001-07:00

Since u have OPENLY declared our cold war via FB,
Now i wanna say something from the bottom of my heart ...

To you, i already forgive you.
I have forgiven, when u said that what ever happen to me because something i deserved
I have forgiven, when u said that i have to change my attitude caused it bothered u
I have forgiven, when u said that actually the rest of the geng taught so too.. which i doubt
I have forgiven, when u said i am NOT perfect actually
(believed me, im so not perfect!)
I really have forgiven you ...

BUT i will never forget that all those came..

From you who i called best friend
Where we have been together since 18 years ago
Which all your LIL and BIG secret are all on my pocket
Whom ur mom... is also my mother

I am sorry,
That our friendship will never be the same
And i regret... that i once called you my bestie
I was hurt and it really hurt badly!
Cause i never would have believed
You whom i thaught the LAST person on earth
Will actually said all those nasty thing

Trust Me !

2009-05-08T20:17:00.001-07:00

Im ok when u said im a fool! So i will learnt ..
Im ok when u said im slow! So i will pick up faster ..
Im ok when u said im a jerk! So may be it is me.. we are all just humans!

But when u said im un-trusted
My heart broke!
My motivation goes to zero .. and ...
.....

So i believed god if fair ... he will know what to do
And i much hopes, one day that u'll to know ....
All accusation are wrong ... and you'll be sory
I already forgive you as someone said... 'just let it go'
But it will not keep me for already hating you ...

'trustworth' is very important for me
I grew up proudly by me parents based on trust
I build my marriage with Arjuna based on thrust
I love them as my friends based on thrust
So when u are not thrusting me ....
Then it all have turned the other way

Cerita Penat

2009-04-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

Aku penat - Fisikal & Emosi

Secara Fisikal
Non-Stop Working since last 3 months memang sangat memenatkan!
Waking up at 6 and sleep at 12 Mid Nite, sungguh penat
Tapi aku ceria ke tempat kerja
Kerana passion & mereka

Penat face when reached home automatically turned to sunshine smile
When reaching home and Arjuna always support & understood me
Tak pernah sekali been scolded !
In fact, being pampered like always as a princess

Secara Emosi
Aku penat bersedih
So now all i want to do is having Much Fun of it!
With everyone i love and others who loved me ...

Tapi these 3 hari libur,
Aku nak rehat secukupnya...
Untuk hidup & cabaran baru akan datang .

p/s: That new smell of B&B reached at perfect time to rejuvenate

Everything gonna be alrite

2009-04-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

Life start to pick up!
although many uncertainties infront there
but im all positive facing though it

Recharging my 'energetic' life
with many smile and optimistic attitude
i keep on saying to myself that ..
Everything gonna be alrite

(aku hairan kenapa aku sangat optimistik.. )

i need a break

2009-03-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

yup!

Im so stressed up..

(I guess , this does not need further explanation..)

I badly need a vacation

And Arjuna agreed to it

However now may be not the right time

Until all this has finished,

We will try to get that weekend gateways!

As at now,

A Balinese Massage may be perfect enough!!

A snap from the last, one day escaped!

Overloaded

2009-03-21T02:16:00.000-07:00

Yes... i am still doing my tons of homework
I have been abandoned lots of stuff
And my life .. pretty upside down now!

Im very overloaded now!
Hell-No this is not how supposed to be or planned
But what i can say... it is so UN-COOL!

Since im blogging this during my waktu rehat;
here are my summary

Life --> Sucks!
Time --> How i wish i have more than 24hours a day
Skin --> No time to pampered, so many pimples now!
Kakitangan --> tak cukup!
Weddings --> I missed 'doing' it..
Creativity --> Blocked!
Stress Level --> already Stage 5
Kasih Sayang --> Kurang Cukup
Weight --> Extra Gain (Damn those food i munched while stress)
Beauty Sleep --> Totally need more (only had 4 hours a day)
Social Life--> Forgot when was last time we watched movie
Cooking --> Today, masak kari! (kasilah at least dapur tu berasap)
Motivation Level --> ZERO
Most regret-->i wanna watch my TAIWAN Drama!!!

Only thing that make me happy... that people i pray and wishes everyday, insya allah will realizing their dreams! Bestnyer-Bestnyer!!!

I hate Homework

2009-03-08T05:58:00.000-07:00

yes, the fact that im too old be having homework..
i am always a student that hate homework!
unless some extra study i need to be doing for own my good

but to stay at home just finishing some homework assigned
is reallllly pissing me off!!!
especially when u do stuff not from your heart

Sigh!!! u'll be hearing me mumbling for coouple of weeks
Arhhhh ........ !!!
I just want to be ordinary ....

Dream & Believe

2009-02-21T02:05:00.000-08:00

In life,

It is ok to have dream,

So what if they laugh! and So what if they will not consider

I know it will come true

May be not now, not today nor tomorrow

But i believe it will be one fine day ...

As at now, my principle is to,

dream &believe

The new club

2009-02-03T06:51:00.000-08:00

For those who were with me from 8 to 6 today,
U must saw how i celebrated my first day of being 30 years old!
Damn on those work made me hates my day today .

But Luncheon with fellow collegues were de-stress session i had..
And simple dinner at Arjuna's fav, Tony Roma's were simply a great closure of the day
And along, SMSs,Emails, FB wishes made me very honoured
To have many friends that have the thought

So i started today of my life
F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S-L-Y
by admitting how matured i am .. AND
1. reminding myself how 'bersyukur' i supposed to be
2. joint trust fund between me & arjuna
3. realizing that my dreams (and her) CAN actually come through
4. how much i hurt from that worst moment i had with whom i called best friend
5. accepting that so much of people actually loving me..

For those who seing me as a someone who have achieved many in life,
I thank you on that..
But to them, i think i have failed in many aspects
So i'll try to be a better person
in my new club

Best Wishes
(7am; From so called twinnie-" Welcome to new club")

My deepest wishes
(Thank you My Arjuna for everything)
(And thank u to u that actually remembered! - thought u will missed it like any other years before)

The Little Rascal have moved ...

2009-01-15T06:42:00.000-08:00

She have moved to her new crib...

Missing her so very much...

So i made this cute poster snap from her very own, aunt...

F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S

2009-01-05T06:49:00.000-08:00

I started the New Year 2009 with a wonderful dream!
Dream that make me smile till i coudnt wait to wake arjuna the next morning
(The best thing was- he had a great dream too)
We wont tell cause some said it woudnt come true...

Yup! A New Year, A New Beginning and A New Soul !
Although some have heard the news,
Continuanity of the unfortunate story of fififlafla
(I had to undergone Re-Open Procedure)
I must not and will not to give up!
"Arjuna cakap: Bersabar! Tuhan nak duga sayang.."

3 have always been my fav number!
In mylife, 2009 will have much relations of no.3!
Hence,i hope 2009 will be the year!!!
Therefore whatever i'm doing...
I'll do it fabulously !!!

Congratulations to Miss bluecamisole who recently got hitched
& Happy Birthday Miss D! Darn the surprise tak jadi!

My January Song

7 to 2009

2008-12-24T08:01:00.000-08:00

So far,
The 3rd weeks of home resting have been rather enjoying!
(Yes, I started to pick up - What ON LEAVE Should be)
=ENJOYING on Non-Working Days

Although have not hit the big malls yet
Neither 'Lepaking' Nor "Driving pusing KL'
I already start cooking (A lot of Ikan Stim & Ikan Bakar Actually)
and do few normal wifey duties (Laundry & Sweeping)
Although some may say i should'nt,
But seriously, i do need that useful and extra moves
Or i'll be showing up in the office with this
Hippopotamus look & Round 'pinggan' face!

But my bigger excitement is,
To set a new resolution for 2009
Although current and previous years have never been fulfilled 100%
At least i must have some mission right!

Hurm,i'll have 7 days before 2009!

p/s: New Blog Look of fififlafla for 2009
(As summary, i wanna be FABULOUS)

15 Days, 10 Magazines & 10 Dvds

2008-12-20T08:43:00.000-08:00

It has been 15 days after the cut!
My life been the same (dull, jaded &empty)
I spend my daily habit with the same agenda like previous!
Well may be slightly better
By start walking at other places NOT Home!

But at my 15 days,
I wore pair of my much loved Jeans
Well, there are 2 actual reasons why I can’t wear them anymore,
(It’s a low waist jeans so, it’s too near with that 5cm stitches and
yes ladies- I am fat !)
Well, what do u expect, I have to eat hale and hearty food accordingly
that specially give me energy & blood! Duhh….
Nevertheless, today I survived with it!
Much better improvement huh!

Other than that,I’ve spend my money into:-
- 10 magazines (In Style, Bazaar, Female, Country Living, Home&Garden, Ratu Sehari, Rapi and 3 other oversea wedding magazines I ordered from my friends)
- 10 DVDs

So, I must said that my 3rd week will be rather exciting right!
Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh ….

Ku Rai Cinta KeDua Tahun

2008-12-17T08:06:00.000-08:00

7 Days after the CUT

2008-12-11T05:24:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah,
The operation went well
I'm now laying down mostly at home
Trying to enjoy my 'pantang' while watching Oprah, Ellen & Samantha Brown
While also accepting that,
Ikan haruan, tenggiri, ulams and hati are my daily dishes

Arh... bosan!!
But i have another 33 days to go through this
So i make sure my daily routine rather enjoying
So everyday I read motivational & self-esteem articles
To start with new life & chapter in next few days

I hope this will be my last operation ..
It was so painful and i coulnt describe it more..
Now, i hate seing doctor, nurses and even scissors
(Or anything remind me on Operation Theatre)
Haaaah ...

The Reason

2008-11-29T01:30:00.000-08:00

I am looking for the reason
everywhere and anywhere
And I could not find it yet

I am looking for the right reason
To all my queries and doubt
So I will never feel worry again

I am looking for another hope another time
So I can stand up and be who I am
And fulfill many other dreams I have

So until yesterday
I think I have found the reason
To this uncertainties, fears and qualms
Yes, let’s just hope “thats” actually the explanation
To why all this happening.

Saying Goodbye before I’ve said Hello

2008-11-22T06:47:00.000-08:00

It takes a lot of courage for me to write this
But it takes even more guts for me to go through this
And today, I am ready to tell you

At 8 weeks, my baby that I carried with full care and tender
with extra love and affectionate
and amid with so much hopes and pray
have stop breathing

Yes, I felt my heart stop too
fears, emotions, lost, anger, self-blame, depression
sadness, anxiety, guilt, hurt and mostly devastating
the same exact feeling way I felt when I lost the twins

I felt,Not only I lost my potential baby (which could also be another twin)
But I also lost a dreams of parenting
And hope for the future

But may be because of previous lost
has made me even stronger every day
I grief and I cried
But I believed God have another great plan for me

And all does matter today,
Is I have my Arjuna

Happy Anniversary Sayang
Today, 22nd Nov is the 10th year we have been InLove
I promised to be your girlfriend last 10 years
And today I want to live with you even for another 100 years

Itulah Namanya Dugaan..

2008-11-06T05:18:00.000-08:00

Dalam hidup, kita ada bahagia, ada cinta, ada duka & adanya durjana
kita lalui samaada dengan senyuman ataupun titisan air mata
namun itu semua adalah dugaan dariNya bagi menguji ketabahan hambaNya

Cerita Seorang Isteri & Ibu
ditinggal sang suami kerana malu dengan,
anak yang baru dilahirkan cacat, buta & terencat akal

Cerita Seorang Isteri & Ibu
meninggalkan suami kerana baru merasai
kenikmatan dunia akibat kahwen muda

Cerita Seorang Isteri& Bakal Ibu
Yang rumahtangganya hampir hancur
Kerana Suami tidak mengiginkan anak yang bakal dilahirkan

Ya,semua ini cerita benar & bukan rekaan semata-mata
Yang ditentukan oleh Tuhan kepada Umatnya
Maka bersyukurlah engkau sekiranya belum diduga
Dan berdoalah kepada yang Maha Esa agar,
Mereka yang aku sebut diatas tabah melalui dugaannya

Manakala Cerita Aku
Cerita Sedih Seorang Isteri yang terlalu ingin digelar ibu
Memberi kebahagia kepada insan teramat dicintai atau kugelar seorang suami
Setelah komplikasi dalam kandungan kedua kali ini
Yang mungkin berakhir dengan sebuah duka lagi
Namun aku akan tabah melalui dugaan yang telah ditentukan
Dan terus mengharap & berdoa
Agar keajaiban & kekuatan berlaku diakhir cerita ini

Bacalah KuFayaKun 100x
Bacalah Al-Fatiha 7x
Bacalah Ayat Kursi 7x
(Selepas Solat Maghrib)
Pesanan seorang teman....

Need Hopes

2008-10-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

At this moment,

I need SO MUCH HOPES..

and

this..

Not Yet To Give Up..(Insya Allah)

2008-10-23T05:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, i just feel want to give up...

Tapi sesungguhnya Ya Allah..
Tabah kan hati insan mu ini
Menumpuh dugaan yang kau tentukan
Amin

...
But I will try NOT to give up yet..
NOT YET..

Kerna Ku Sayang Kamu

2008-10-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

Gain & Loose (Ramadhan)

2008-10-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

Gain
1. New Trust on relationship that i never thought will work
2. More 'pahala' as i perform more Solat Terawih this Year (Alhamdulillah)
3. Everything that i planned, can consider success (Rezeki Anak Yatim tu..)
4. One more wifey element-baking (That Mini Oven to experiment my hidden talent)
5. My long lost close friend- I was searching for 2 names n few days ago i managed found 1. (Thanks Facebook)

Loose
1. Friendship that i cherish most (Well i hope she called it friendship too)
2. 5 kilos during fasting month
3. A person i respect & adore most, My Boss (Or actually My Friend)

...

2008-09-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

" I still remember when Philip ask me to assume the Marketing Planning Role and allow me topick whoever i want, the first person that cross my mind was u. Because i know you are capable and comitted. Time has proven my right decision. So keep up the good work & good luck"

I cherished my super cool boss/friend ...Wishing him Good Luck!

Reason, i keep on hoping ..

2008-09-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

Misconceptual

2008-09-03T07:55:00.000-07:00

I do feel guilty that sometimes I do underestimate a person
Although I know trust is the magic word for it …
But I cant simply offer it generously!
As I present my full smile to everyone

Hence, I always have this –misconception judgment
So I decided to continuosy improved it
Coz Arjuna used to say;
That will be exactly the same perception people will have on me…

Thus, If I could turn back the time
I might look at your differently
And for that, I am sorry to you and you and you !

Today like my ballet moment

2008-08-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

I like today because,
The day I Pampered myself..

I like today because,
Cleaning house makes me at least a sensible wife..

I like today because,
The damages i made today is for my future...

I like today because,
I'm proud what i did yesterday...

I like today ....

My ballet moment back when i was kiddo amongst my fav day !
Stil remember that soft schiffon pink skirt with that matching slippers making swan dance..

the 100th POSTs

2008-08-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

i cant believed ive been blogging for quite some time.
and yes i admit i do have my little diaries ,
writting every feeling and thoughts since i was primary
(and oh yes, my wicked sister will always try to read it)
until ive met so many of whom i called friend..
defining what is love ..and every other single details of my life to it...

Now,blogging make my little black book more fun & real
playing my kind of music and actually allowing people to read it..
is kind of the modern way of doing it

However i do not have that time anymore
My brain have become less proactive
and my body become weakand more weak everyday
BUT
Tribute to my 100th POSTs,
Ill be sharing the moment i dare myself!

Moment:
Recent Company's Outdoor's Activity

In life, i have 3 greatest fear (of course GOD will be the main one)
1- Silence
2-Darkness
3-Water(Ive drowned before and i still have that visual how ive been saved)

The Jungle Night Walk- (not the activity i was looking forward)
as it combines all of the above.
But that 2 hours of dark & silence walk
have pushed me to the limit
daring myself to actually go thru and be someone
i never thought i will be

Well may be i have that trusted hand to pull me up
Or that tiny courage that always been secretly hiding inside myself
I will never forget every moment of it

Its like...
Totally new experiences!
A whole new world for me!

p/s: Its about time.. discover more 'fififlafla' here !